Thursday, December 01, 2005

Information Centre Point

Imagine this. You're in England and your friends are scattered all around the world. Some back home, some in Melbourne and New Zealand and Singapore. Each of them tells you stories on how they have been. How the Lord has been gracious to them. Some surprised you with news of their attachment with someone while others update you constantly with their gushes and crushes.

And there, here am I in England, the centrepoint where information is being exchanged. It's like being at a information counter with headphones and microphones on. Tit tit..a call is coming in. It's from down under.

A dear friend from Melbourne shared her her bit of story with me. I'm taking it as an attachment though she claims that they are not official yet. But her story is amazing. Her special friend is from Norway. Both were studying in the same uni although they are in different courses. But somehow their paths crossed and as they get to know each other better, it was clear that it was God's leading. She went through an agonizing period of waiting and was even more uncertain when he left for home upon completing his course. I could not imagine how she would have felt. The distance must have terrorised her. Future would seem bleak. The light at the end of the tunnel would seem diminishing. But God remain gracious. The light remained dim but not out. Recently, she broke a happy news to me that he's coming back to Melbourne for a semester. I smiled when she told me that. God is truly leading

Another call is in queue. This time, it's from back home. This sister's story is even more amazing. I find it hard to believe. They met during a bible conference some years back. He was from the Netherlands. After the conference, they corresponded through emails for two years. Feelings grew but not without confusion. The second time they met again was during a bible camp in Johor. I was there but didnt notice a thing. She too went through a period of waiting and more praying followed suit. She recently related the story to me and all I could say was, "Wow!" I was amazed at how the Lord can being two persons from different backgrounds, culture together. He has proven to me yet again that all things are possible. They recently got attached after confirming with God and each other. I'm really really happy for her. And this dear sister told me soemthing that struck me. She said that sisters should wait in silence. Even all those buds unfolding sessions in church, this was fresh to me. She quoted Ruth 3:18. Although we went through the book of Ruth in church, I didnt realise the connection till she brought it up. In Ruth, Ruth waited at the feet of Boaz during the night and saith not a word to wake Boaz up. She waited in silence. And Boaz, being the gentleman he was, kept his promise and married Ruth in the end.

In today's world, we see the opposite of matters. People not only rush into relationships and ended up being heart-broken, but marred the lines tremendously. I wonder how it was centuries back when guys are more gentle and ladies quieter. It must be interesting to live in those times!

Tit tit..another call from home from a dear sister who relates to me her bit on praying. Nothing is concrete now yet. She's in confusion. But I wish her well. I'm not sure if he was meant for her but now during her waiting and praying period, I really wish her well. I hope it turns out good. But above all, I hope that through this experience of praying, she is drawn closer to our dear Lord. In both earlier instances, they prayed not to be together but to seek His will. That made the difference I suppose. I soemhow felt that we live in a box. God put pathways, hills and valleys in it. He knew where we would end up in the end. But He allowed us to walk our own ways. We will be on the right track if we follow instructions and obey Him. However, whenever we stray or decided to be smart, we more often ended on the wrong road than not. But even so, he gently guided us back to our supposed pathways. How amazing! A friend said that God take His own sweet time and direct us. Truly, a day to Him is like a thousand years and a thousand years is like a day! But we are assured that He will make sure that His will for us is fulfilled and not return void. Amen to that.

So at the end of the conversations, I guess life is about callings. But callings alone is not good enough. Someone has gottta pick that call up and answer it and do what the Caller says. In this case, I'm supposed to pick up calls and answer them the way the Caller wants it to be. I'm sure I hear some ringing tones soemwhere. Am I picking them up? Pick up..

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Knocking from above

Why do you need something to be gone before you learn to appreciate it? I was in a friend's house recently. He is musically inclined, plays the piano (keyboard now that he's here because buying a piano here would cost him an arm and a leg) and guitar. I didnt know that he could play these instrument so well until that visit. I was in the room and he played the keyboard. It was just some simple cords but the moment the sound of keyboard filled the air, I was immediately transported to back to the once so familiar period of singing with my fellow friends in church. How I miss those moments! It didnt take me long to think back of the times we had in camps, singing through the night with her playing the keyboard and guitar. It has been a long time since those beautiful hymns and songs were sung. Those periods of us practising harmonising in preparation for the presentation for Watch-Night service, the casual moments of us surrounding the piano and just sings, the unforgettable moments in camps where she plucked the strings of the guitar and us singing songs of praise of all kinds.

He then played some jazz songs. As I watched his fingers running across the keyboard, I cant help but marvelled at his ability and yet at the same, ashamed of my own short-comings of not being able to play any musical instruments at all. He must have realised my thoughts. He then told me of a testimony he heard and reminded me of the beautiful truth where different people are gifted differently. Some play musical intruments and some don't. Some can do certain things better than other. But in all these, it displays not the weakness of an individual but rather the individuality of gifts in its diversity. Certain people are better in some things that others are not. This was what I really needed to hear.

Since attending Clumberhall, this matter has been at the back of my head. They really lack some people who can help out in playing the piano for the family service. Grace hasnt been playing for a long time and she is trying to pick it up again slowly. I wished I could play each time I see her play. I'm not underestimating her by any means. I just wished I could help her out. I wish I know how to play the guitar so that I could sing to Him when I'm here. I wished I could discern notes better. But I thank the Lord for showing me some otherwise truths.

He moved on to playing the electric guitar. We sang some Christian songs together. Oh man, it has really been a long long time since I hear and sing these songs. Thank you Lord for the short but pleasant moment of fellowship.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Grace spelled and expounded

I was in Grace's house today for lunch after the breaking of bread service in Clumberhall. Gace has always treated me very warmly and I'm very comfortable around her. Unlike some others whom I'm still feeling stiff around, looking for topics to talk about. But with Grace, it was different. She was just gracious. We took the tram to her house which is just 10 minutes away from the city centre.

She cooked while I hang around in her kitchen, exploring her things. Very rude of me but I was really curious on an English home's settings. The amount of cutlery and plates and cooking utensils they have simply amaze me. Back home, I would had have them disposed!
She made some delicious chicken with cauliflower and carrots and potatoes, covered with think brown gravy..simply delicious! Like in Ada's house, we sat at the table and talked. She told me bout people in Clumberhall. It was like a brief introduction to the believers in clumberhall. I found out today who was married , who wasnt and who's widowed. It was amazing that some chose to remain singles and serve the Lord so faithfully. Where do they get the strength from? And if only I could take a picture of the believers in Clumberhall, you would understand my enthusiasm. They are all three scores and above. Some are in their eighties! I don't reckon I would still have the strength to walk out, take bus and come to church when I'm eighty! I would probably be in a wheel chair and need to be look after by someone else! Simply amazing. Suddenly, I begin to see their love for Christ and how He has blessed them so richly. What a privellege to still be able to gather with peers at that old ripe age and break bread together on every Sunday. Truly..what a privellege...

Grace then told me about her family, her parents and brothers. Her parents are both missionaries from England who went to Brazil to start a church. Forgive me for not remembering the name of the place where the church was first planted, it was too foreign for me to remember. She herself was born in Brazil. She made a scrapbook of the life of her mother. Grace's mother was born in 1899. She recounted bit by bit from the time when her mother was born, into her teenage years and eventually marriage days before having Grace and her 2 brothers. As we flipped through the album together, I was amazed. It was simply overwhelming..the stories of her parents, their work and their lives as a family. There was so much love in this family. And oh, Grace was a dashing young woman in those pictures. It was a pity that she was never married ( I think so as she did not mention anything bout having a husband). And oh her younger brother was a fine young man too. He passed away just last year because of cancer. After the photo session, I understood why she has so much to say about her younger brother. He was such a gem...and all were fond of him. And of course, both Grace and him were very close. It was a pity that he has passed on. He was 64.

In Clumberhall, all are very old. As Grace shared with me, the thing that struck me was how times has changed. Back then, Christians were much more responsible and their love to the lord permeates the air. Christian parents teach their children so well that they too continued on in their faith even until old age. There are so much warmth and love and people really love the Lord. Looking now, what has it become? Why has "christianity" become such a taboo subject? Why is it so difficult to talk to one another about the Lord? Why is it that we can talk to each other bout any other things so spontaneously and naturally but become stiff when it comes to the Lord? It became apparent to me that the world has evolved and changed to such a way that it moulds everyone to be someone that they are not supposed to be. It's really a pity..

What can I absorb from Grace and Ada and others in Clumberhall to bring back to my home? I'm determined to learn as much from them as not go back empty handed.

Oh Lord..help me..

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Riches of His Blessings

I had always wondered what the blessings of God really mean. People always tell me that God blesses us spiritually and materially. I don't understand the extend of his out pouring love until recently. Sometimes it's really good to step out from your comfort zone and see how the Lord works. Back home, being very sheltered as I am, I was short-sighted in seeing these things. I mean, I was blessed with a good family- wonderful supportive parents and sisters(though they get on your nerve sometimes, but they are really precious jewels that cannot be replaced), marvellous bunch of friends and a nice home...I didnt realise how comfortable I was till I left home to further my studies in Nottingham.

Now, I wished I could still enjoy the convenience I had at home. I walked to everywhere now..to town to get groceries, to attend classes, wash after myself. I'm on my own now. No more rides from Mum, no more leaving the dishes knowing that someone else will clean them, no more Mum ironing my clothes..no more such convenience. I learnt to appreciate them better now. I didn't realise how well my parents taught me on how important cleanliness is and certain principles that seem petty to some until now to an extend that I become fussy when things are not as tidy as at home. Haha..talking about being so strongly in-rooted.

Now being away, I see things that I don't see back home. I now understand how hard earned money is. When you just have this certain amount to spend on, you'll think before putting certain things into your trolley in the supermarket. The conversion rate obviously makes buying even harder. But perhaps, focus seem to shift to other things here. I was blessed to have been introduced to an assembly in city where hospitality hangs on their neck. Horrible description, but yeah..

People here have been very kind to me. I spent a whole afternoon in Ada's house. She attends service in Clumberhall too. She made me meals, gave me her homemade jam which tasted very nice. Above all, she showed me kindness that I had never expected. Imagine being away from home and here there're people who showed so much love and warmth. I am very thankful. Also another family, the Osbornes, whom I was in contact with before I came over. They were very nice too. They have an adorable son, Matthew who till now still talking about the embarassing incident on leaving me in the toilet when the fire alarm went off in McDonalds! Both Neil and Ruth Osbornes made sure I'm all right here and invited me over to their house for an evening. Such warm people...

Even my friends here are nice. We stayed together and each help support each other..Utter blessedness...I'm truly thankful..

Saturday, October 01, 2005

A whole new beginning

I couldnt find a suitable word to describe my going-ons for the past one month. It has been exciting, scary, unperdictable and emotional, all lumped together forming a complicated concoction of indescrible feelings. The 13 hours journey wasn't as bad as I had initially thought. I spent my time watching movies in the plane, besides gulping down meals served. Oh yeah, I had red wine too. That was to keep me warm and to help me to sleep. But still, the excitement was over-whelming. I found myself staying awake throughout the whole journey.

I was on my way to a whole new beginning in a foreign land. A land that I had always wanted to go. A period of being away from home that I thought I would like. The door to this new adventure was at my feet. I couldn't wait to start anew. Perhaps I was escaping what I was going through in my beloved hometown. Or perhaps, I had just wanted to start afresh. Why did I insist? I do not know it myself. I'm here to see, explore and try.

Finally, on September 14, I stepped out to this new land which will be my home for the coming year. A land by the name of England. I'm here finally. I couldn't help but gave thanks for His wonderful provision. He has brought me here safely. The first week saw me travelling from London to Nottingham and Stoke-On-Trent. Beautiful country. Green and pleasant. It took quite a while for this thought to sink in. I'm here finally. Excitement kept me afloat for the first week. I had much sight seeing to do. Met and made some friends. The Lord has been gracious. I was very well taken care of. Well fed and kept safe. How thankful I was....

International and freshers' week flew past me. I have now moved in into a new abode that will be my home for the next one year. A small house with 4 rooms. Classes will commence soon. I'm beginning to settle in. I began to miss home, my family, all my friends from church and school. I did not realise how much I actually miss them until last week when I was walking home from uni and tears started to well in my eyes for no apparent reasons. I hasten my walk home and quickly commit these feelings to the Lord. The same thing happen during my first breaking of bread service in Clumberhall Evangelical Church last Sunday. How I wished that everyone's here with me. I could hardly concentrate in service. And I miss everyone dearly. All... I had always thought that I'm independent enough to stand on my two feet even in a foreign land but I was proven wrong.

There are many things to get adjusted to. The unpredictable weather especially, not to mention the thick accent of some locals. But these will also come to past. Right now..I'm looking forward to the break of dawn of a new day. A whole new beinning for me....

Monday, September 12, 2005

Reserved

There are names that are only reserved for certain people. Certain names are "in-claimable". For example, my first name ends with a "ling". Only my closest friends can call me that without me having chill down my spine. It's not that I'm fiercely protective on who can call me that name but rather only these few can call me that without me having extra thoughts! Recently, one of my classmate started calling me that. I had chills down my spine. I suddenly felt cool..It the same feeling where you've seen something you shouldn't have seen or heard something so rarely spoken in public. A friend puts it aptly, "Public Display of Affection". Forget about the crush I had on him, he has crossed the line. Haha...It brought me to realise one thing. If guys are more sensitively responsive to touch, then girls are equally sensitive to words! See how greatly we are created? This should also remind all guys who read this, be more sensible in words when talking, especially to girls! Haha..Also to the girls, keep an arm's length apart. No matter how unnecessary you think these rules are, it's always good to learn to draw your lines and boundaries. Certain things are best to be reserved for only your special partner..Keep it that way. But the again, each person draws their own lines and none should question why it's drawn that way. I know I claimed not to be an avid fan of Elisabeth Elliot's writings on "purity, crushes" matters, but these are the few things that has as if been implanted on me..Taught rather..

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Our Package

Ever noticed how your body works? Stretch your arm, move your fingers..noticed that delicate smooth movement of your fingers? Noticed how your fist clutches into a ball when you get angry? Above all, notice how your body movement work perfectly alongside with the signals sent by your brain cells? I marvel at His delicate creation. He's such a detailed Creator...If these visible, tangible functions marvel you, how about those unseen ones? Your protein strains that form DNA, your identity..Coagulation of strains that form bigger masses of cells that forms you as the final product. Ever wondered what you were made of inside?

I remember the movie "Robots" that I watched months ago. In that animated movie, these robots are made of parts assembled together. As they grow older, their parts have to be replaced by bigger pieces. New parts were presented to them as presents as they grow older. Like longer legs or bigger head. Things get even more interesting as they grow older. They tend to rust because they were made of metal. Unless they are rich enough to buy new original parts, they will just substitute them second hand-me downs. This option is better than to be laid waste and eventually be made into scrap metal.

Imagine you and me rusting as we age. How is that? We have to order our parts every now and then to replace them. Wow..I can't picture myself in that. I'm glad that we didn't have to. Our parts were made so perfectly, personally, exclusively for ourselves. There will be no second hand-me-downs or replacement parts. We were perfect since the day we were made, except that we were tainted by sin through Adam. But nonetheless, we will be prefectified some day.

However, if we really do need to have our parts replaced every now and then, which part would you replace? Hmnn..for me, I wished I could replace my heart with a brand new one. A bigger heart that would have place for more people and things. A squarer heart? Nah..that would me a square person. A rounder one, perhaps? Haha..Am I not round enough? Maybe an irregularly shaped heart with bigger surface area. One that has bends and dents to house small minte things..larger platonic surface for important matters. And finally caged and guarded in a strong rib cage for protection. Sacredly and fiercely protected.

I would probably have my legs replaced with longer ones. Then I would be taller to the expereince the feelings of being on higher ground than others. Something which I would never had the chance to taste. (Well, except I'm on heels but that wouldnt give me the grounded feelings) I would want to replace my brains too. I wish I had a simpler thinking mechanism. Not that I'm very smart now, but I wished I can look at the world with simpler view. I don't have to worry about thinking too much if that person has evil intention when he's being nice. I don't have to be on guard all the time. I can walk on the walkways without clutching my handbag tightly to my side. I can just cross the road on the zebra crossing with assurance that the speeding car will obey the red lights and stop. How nice, yeah? I wished everyone would think simple.

Simplicity..if only

Monday, August 29, 2005

Internship at Trident

"Doors that He open, none can close,Doors that He close, none can open"

I came to understand what this saying really means when I was offered a job opportunity at Trident. After being rejected by Shell (How sad..), I was prepared to spend my three months holidays just at home, lingering around like last year. However, just before my holidays start, I got a phonecall from Trident. They have agreed to take me in and hear this, without interview! I suspect they picked my application form randomly (probably with eyes closed and eni minie mou)...However, I trust that the hand of the Lord guided this. I mean, who else could have planned this? Out the few applications they received, they picked me! Imagine how thnakful I was for this. I was reminded of the verse I read from Psalm years ago on how He could change the tides and seasons. He was in control because He's the Creator. I felt very safe because I know that I'm in good hands.

I started my first day at work with mounted excitement. I didn't know what to expect but I quickly settled in. Partly was because I had such a nice group of colleagues. Though I was only and intern, they took me pretty much like one of their own. The warmth they showed touched me deeply. They allowed me to take part in their projects. The best thing was my supervisor took time off and taught me from basics. She was ever patient and throughout my internship period, I had not once saw her losing her temper despite the bugging from the people around. (So, guys, anyone wants me to intro?!! I don't think she mind younger guys. Haha...)

I had my own space and internet connection though I felt guilty for misusing it. All in all, I had learnt a lot from this internship and had made many friends as well. Three months zoomed past without me realising it. My internship with Trident has come to an end. I'm forever thankful for this opportunity to work with them.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Bird-Watching

I felt a tug on my arm. I was jolted from sinking deeper into my thoughts. "Hey, what are you staring at? Not nice to stare," I heard her whispering. She has just saved me from what would have be an embarrassing moment of ignorance. I was looking at some folks around me without realising that I was actually staring at them.

I always have this problem. No..I wouldn't call it a problem. I just love watching people around me. I wouldn't deem myself as observant but I enjoy bird-watching. I could sit down by myself on a bench in a park and just watch the going-ons around me. Everywhere in fact. It was also relaxing to lie on a lazy chair on the beach and just look around. There are a lot of details that people overlook when they rush through their routines. Because I commute by train everyday to and from work, I had a lot of seeing to do.

There are actually a lot of interesting things to see. For one, I was in Sentral waiting for the Seremban train to arrive when this young couple came and stood behind me. They were fairly young, 18 years old perhaps. The guy was short but pleasant looking. The girl looks young and pretty naive. Nothing interesting about them until it caught my eye. The boy just couldn't get his hands off her. How inappropriate!

Before long, the train came and we pushed our way into the stomach of the train. I managed to get a seat while scores of people continue in their bid of cramming into the train. Finally, the alarm buzzed and the door slammed to shut. The young couple disappeared from my view.

Another familar looking lady came into my view. She's a humble yet elegant looking young lady. In her twenties perhaps. Poised, simple and yet, she has this exquisite aura about her. Hair hung loose from her shoulder. Clothes neatly worn. A simple, pleasant person. (Forgive me if I sounded like a stalker. I'm not..just observant)

People tend to pick things up when they take time to observe their surrounding. But in our busy world today, people just rush in into their daily routine and often lose sight of what it is all about..Imagine rushing through 40 years of your life and when you are 60 and retired, you look back and realised that you have not achieved much because you were too busy doing what the world sets and mould you to do. At the end of the day, you suddenly realised that you have totally missed the point. My...how tragic..I hope that doesn't happen..

Take time to smell the roses...my friends..

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

World of Irony

Sometimes I wished I was created without emotions. Then we can be shielded against all hurful, poisonous arrows of unkind words shot at us. We would be immuned to others irresponsible usage of sarcasm and deeds. The most heart-breaking thing is being in the midst of your close friends and yet feel isolated. How? It happens. I call it the ultimate loneliness. Being there and yet not there. Too difficult to comprehend?

Picture this, won't it be good if what I say does not affect you? In that case, we don't have to worry about misleading others, causing another brother to fall or the young ones to sin. People then need not be defensive of themselves. The world has turned upside down. The many homicide or suicide cases we hear of these days branched off from the inability of people to take and digest another person's irresponsible usage of words. Minor arguments that broke out lead to bigger dispute and soon, when anger starts to flare, people lose their mind. They start to do silly things. They become violent. They can even kill. You see, human are amazing creatures. We are so carefully and wonderfully made that every single brain cells we have are positioned rightly. When one unhappy word is heard, signals are sent across. Hormones implement its effects. And boom, one person can turn into a monster just like that. Control system fails. System crashed!

Now, anger is an emotion. If the world does not know anger, won't that be good? Jealousy is also an emotion. Envy and covetousness fall into the same category. If a couple knows not of jealousy, it would not irk one partner's anger unnecessarily if all the other partner does was purely conversing with a member of the opposite sex. However, without jealousy or envy, we wouldn't know how much the other party cares for us. People will become robotic. Relationship will become simple but steel-y.

Unfortunately, (fortunately, rather)it is also jealousy that God demand us to obey and love Him only and no one else. It was jealousy and love that made God send His beloved Son to die on the cross for our sins. It was this pure jealousy that He demands worship from us. It wouldn't be ideal in God's eyes if we were created without emotions. We would never come to know what's love. Without knowing what love is, we wouldn't appreciate His ultimate sacrifice.

It's really ironic. Love unites but it also divides. Emotions add salt and pepper into our lives but too much of it, life becomes too salty and it is bad for us. Ironic...

Friday, August 05, 2005

Malaysian at H-E-A-R-T

I was surfing when I came across this article. This piece is easy to read and I must admit that its content is quite true. Haha...It did put me to shame to a certain extend but then again, this is what that distinguishes us from the rest of the world. Like it or not, it's an identity, an inseparable identity. Though not for the better cause. Enjoy it...

You complain about the quality of the pirated DVD you just purchased. "What, RM10 for DVD5?! Aiyah, boss ... sound no good, cheaperlah ...

"You're willing to consume sambal petai and durian and gladly suffer the bloating and wind-breaking incidents.You're exceedingly polite to the Mat Sallehs but you slag your own kind. "Hello, sir. Why don't you sit here, it?s got the best view of the city skyline." But, "Aunty-ah, your table is over there next to the kitchen.

"You order Maggi goreng and fried chicken, complain about how oily the food is, and then proceed to finish it anyway.You love to talk about food. You're already thinking about what to have for dinner while eating lunch. "I'm stuffed. What shall we have for dinner?

"You dive into a communal-style meal the moment the dish lands on the table only to hesitate at the last morsel of food on the serving dish. There are two possible explanations for this: the first is the pai seh (embarrassed) factor, while the other is the myth that the person who eats the last piece will be a spinster.

You hit the accelerator the moment the first drop of rain hits your windshield. "Alamak, it's going to rain. Sure traffic jam one. I'd better drive faster.

"You seize the opportunity to make a U-turn anywhere ... especially where there is a sign telling you not to. Well, so long as the cops aren't in sight.

Reality shows Akademi Fantasia and Malaysian Idol dictate your social life. "What, no TV at the mamak? Count me out ? I'm staying home. Rinie needs my support.

"You pepper every sentence with lah. "No-lah, I can't see you today-lah. I have to study-lah. You know-lah, the prison warden aka mak is watching me like a hawk

"You fail to function normally without your daily dose of teh tarik and nasi lemak.

You slow down at an accident site to take down the car number plate, but won't step out of your car to help ? the victim could be a robber!

You'd rather park your car along the main road outside the mall, where there's a yellow line, rather than pay RM1 to park inside where there are adequate bays.You plead, bat your eyelids and relate a sob story to the officer at the town council office to let you off the hook (or reduce the amount considerably) for the fine you incurred when you parked your car on the double line.

You make an appointment for 10am and conveniently show up a half hour late ? Malaysian time, what ...

You pop open the wet tissue packet at the Chinese restaurant by squeezing the trapped air to the top of the packet before proceeding to smash your fist into it. The louder the pop the better.

You have roughly six meals a day (breakfast, mid-morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner and supper). Then there's the snacking ? keropok ikan, pisang goreng, muruku, jam tarts and the like.

Your accent and language style vary according to the race of the person you are conversing with.

You've got a friendly disposition. Smiles are abundant and your "Apa khabar?" is warm and sincere.You exclaim loudly how expensive everything is, even though the items may in fact be going for a steal. "Wah! So expensive, ah? Hak sei ngor (Scare me to death)

You "dis" our country all the time, but as soon as something good happens (like winning the Thomas Cup), you morph into a proud Malaysian.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Time Out

Since started working, I had hardly any time to rest. The same routine repeats everyday. Get up early, catch the train, work and work, get home, dinner and then sleep before going through the same process the next day. A friend commented, " Work really does make a person boring." I had to agree.

So, I decided to take a time out. Took 2 days leaves and went to Redang with my classmates. It proved to be a rejuvenating experience. I had so much fun. Snorkelling was a whole new experience and it was amazing being underwater and seeing so many beautiful, detailed creatures He created. I was awed..though there are some dead corals spoiling the picture, but nonetheless, the fishes were spectacular.

Talking about fishes, a friend and I decided to be mischievous. While others jumped into the sea to snorkel, both of us stayed on boat and feed the fishes with bread. He suddenly had sparkle in his eye and I knew it that at moment, he had a trick up on his sleeve. He shouted to another friend who was snorkelling near the boat, " Do you like fishes?" I caught the idea immediately. We both started throwing pieces of bread at him and instantly, fishes started to zoom in at him. Being underwater, it wasn't easy to turn around and "run". That poor guy had to put up with school of fishes around him until we both decided to stop the torture. Haha..

I had a share of that poor friend's experience while underwater. I tried feeding and it was really scary when the fishes zoomed in at your face. When the slimy fishes touch you, you'll get the goosebumps..Eeuww..

We continued our snorkelling adventure to a few other bays. The best was the one near my resort. We saw baby sharks and I wonder why the resort people bother bringing us to other bays when there's one nice one just right in front of us. We enjoyed the boatride nonetheless...Who wouldn't when their captain sped as if he owned the sea, zooming really near other boats and deceiving you into thinking that he's going to crash into them and swerving out of the way just right in time. Crazy rides...It was fun though I nearly slipped. Haha..

The sunrise in Redang was also magnificent. I savoured one beautiful sunrise on a hammock one morning. As the sun rose behind the clouds, the sea bathed in its rays. Yellow stripes appeared on the waters, the surrounding brightened up, swallowing the darker side of nature. The surrounding came into being and before you knew it, the sun has risen and a new day has just begun.


All in all, I had a great time. It was fun to play Taboo together. I laughed so much because it was really hilarious seeing my friends' expression in their desperate attempts to describe words. And trust me, imaginations can really run wild and get out of control. I just don't understand how the brains of a boy work. It really baffled me as to why simple words lead them to think of sex. I really just don't understand... Sometimes, it came to a point where I just don't know if I should laugh along or show angry face, especially when they go overboard. Baffling..Anyway, there was really a good display of teamwork and we bonded pretty quickly. That was the rewarding part, I suppose.

Man in Pink

I have some guy friends who like pink. They wear different shades of pink shirts to classes. While the "man-lier" guys turned their heads and go, " Yer..how can you wear pink?", nothing seems to upset these pink guys. In fact, they are proud with bright and soft coloured shirts. As for me, I have nothing against pink guys, just that..well..I prefer them in darker shades of shirts.

A few of us were in a similar conversation yesterday night. I commented on a friend who was wearing a pink wristband. The conversation went well until another friend gave his million dollar view. He said, " You know something? Real man wear pink underwear." I was caught off-guard. What?! "It takes a real man to wear pink underwear" He re-affrimed his point. The whole group collasped in laughter. When everyone regains their composure, it began to dawn upon us that he wasn't joking.

" It takes a real man to go around the swimming pool in pink trunk."

I beg to differ. I disagreed. "Where got such thing?" I protested loudly.

Even if it really does take a real man to wear pink underwear, I would rather my future husband not be one....

Fragile Relationships

A couple of my friends went through some painful break-ups with their girlfriends. It pains my heart to see them being sad and down. I begin to wonder. What causes such relationship to break? I had always had this idealistic picture of relationship. It is to be a sacred, sure, strong and secured relationship, leading to marriage. Why start a one when you are not sure if you're meant for each other? But then again, one may not know until they try...In that case, it'll be a trial and error process...meaning, let's try and see if this work out and in case it doesn't, we part ways..How sad..

I see people around me rushing into relationships. Some are more attractive than others. Some get "picked up" fast. At the end of the day, does it really matter? A close friend recently shared her bit with me. I'm glad that there're still some like-minded friends around. Hers was an even more trying one. Both of them prayed and were thankful that the Lord brought them together. However, they chose to wait because it would be a long-distance relationship. Can you imagine? Both knew that God had meant this for them but they still choose to wait and not rush head-on into it.

In the beginning, when God created Adam, He made Eve purposely for him. God had in mind who would be a good helper to Eve and He made just one, the right one for him. Can God not work the same thing today? I'm thankful that the Bible did not record many Eves and ask Adam to try and see which one work out. That, in a way, reaffirms my belief in finding the right one without trial and error. Idealistic..well..maybe I am..

At the meantime, I will just wait..

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Presence of the Lord

God answers prayers through ways that we never imagined. This song came to mind one mroning while I was at work.

Be still

Be still, for the presence of the Lord
The Holy One is here,
Come bow before Him now with reverence and fear,
In Him, no sin is found, we stand on Holy ground,
Be still, for the presence of the Lord,
The holy One is here.

Be still, for the glory of the Lord, is shinning all around,
He burns with holy fire, with splendour He is crowned,
How awesome is the sight, our radiant King of light,
Be still, for the glory of the Lord, is shinning all around.

Be still, for the power of the Lord, is moving in this place,
He comes to cleanse and heal, to minister His grace,
No work to hard for Him, in faith receive from Him,
Be still, for the power of the Lord, is moving in this place.

David J Evans

Being Still

It has been a roller coaster of emotions for the past few weeks. Some unpleasant things happened at home and my plans to transfer over to the UK this summer came to a sudden halt. Everyone at home was bogged down by the incident. I was stuck in between. Though I wanted so much to discussed with my parents and decide once and for all if I should transfer, I coudn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't bear to see the looks of " fan-ness" in my mother's face. All i did was keeping quiet and listening more. I was frustrated within but I was not in control of the situation. There was basically nothing that I can do except sit and wait. I didn't want to go through what I went through last year. Those frustrating, helpless months were mind-boggling and I did not want the same things to happen again.

Perhaps, this was the moments that I should pray more and learn to trust Him. I remember being angry and slashed out on Him. I questioned Him why had He planned this for me. There was so much obstacles in front that all I wanted to do was to bulldoze over. But in reality, I knew I couldn't do that. I regrettted, of course, for not trusting Him. Finally, I learnt to be humble and came to Him for forgiveness..What was I thinking?!! How could I slash it out on my Heavenly Father, the One who loved me so much and sent His Son to die for my sins?

Psalm 46:10- Be still and know that I am GOD

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Funny Questions

I must admit that I was never a big fan of blogs. In fact, during the earlier days when everyone around me started blogging, I wondered why are they doing that. I mean, why allow your fingers to dance on the keyboards and pour out everything personal about yourself and allow others to read it? I understand such feelings very well because I keep a diary myself and I make sure that I "hide" my diary properly lest it falls into the hands of anyone who come into my room. So, right now, you must be wondering why am I not walking my talk?

Frankly, I do not know it myself. Probably was because I have been visiting others' blogs and suddenly realised that this may be an easier channel to write things out. (Since I am always connected to the Internet nowadays- thanks to my internship and my kind company for granting me internet connections!) Another reason is the realisation that a blog, if not misused, can serve as a channel of connection between myself and others whom I have not been meeting up. Or perhaps, this is an outsource of my feelings and thoughts. Haha..anyway, since this is my first entry, I shall not bore everyone to death with my justifications to blogging.