I'm writing this to share with you my experience with our Lord recently and to remind myself how wonderful the Lord has been to me. This also serves as a note to myself not to give me when things weigh me down and I hope that this is will be an encouragement to all of you.
And God slowly revealed that I need to first come before Him blameless. He revealed many of my unconfessed sins and I went on my knees and prayed and cried. I didn't even care about the people around me. I had always been very cautious about how I look like when I worshipped but heck, that night, all I want was the Lord's perception of me. Having cried and confessed and confessed, a sister came and prayed for me. She said this,"Lord, bring this sister back to Your focus. She has lost her focus, show her yours.' I was stumped! How did she know? God was speaking right to my heart. I cried even more. That night, I felt something was changing. Dunno what it was but I kept humming, "Change my heart Oh God, make it ever true".
Other worries I had was financial. How does the Lord really provide? And even if I can survive without much, who's gonna provide for my parents?"
And this was how He answered me. Through a sister and a brother. One of the sisters served in Laos and she related to me an incident when she was very sure she had not more than 100 dollars in her account and although she needed that money, she had to remit those to her parents. But when she withdrew the money, she had another 1000 dollars in her account. One of her supporting friends had just remitted some support to her without informing her, at the right time. Another brother who served in Sudan told me this. While he was away, his church has continuously sent cheques to his parents without him knowing and guess what, the church gave his parents the same amount of money that he gives, without him informing the church. Truly, truly, if God cared for the ravens and lilies, will he not care for you?
In both instances, I told them, I don't know how you know, but these were what I needed to hear exactly.
By the 3rd night, It was already clear to me what I needed to do to be ready. It wasn't a question of my capability anymore but my availability and willingness. I am convinced that I need to be in fellowship and prayer and bible study with my church and I should be looking at the bigger picture. We should not be entangled with the worries of the world but to strain forward. By then, I wasn't crying anymore at worship sessions because a sense of relief swept over me, as if telling me that I'm clear before the Lord. Jesus died for my sins, I have all power on earth through Him. What more do I need?
On the last night, when we gathered to prayed for those who are going for a short 10 -21 days term in other countries, it was really encouraging seeing everyone on their knees, praying for the nations they are going to or any nations that they felt a burden for. Not a show, but pure genuity and honesty and such desire to please God as He said in the Great commission.
I came back feeling really refreshed and desire to be faithful to God. The conference made me realized how blessed I am to have a ministry to serve and yet I wanna give that up. I got back and quickly told my leaders that I wanna continue teaching. I would really encourage you to join me in OCZ 2013 and Lord willing, go for a short term with them too. It will lift your eyes to the hills and make you realize what God is really doing everywhere else. Greater things are yet to come and greate r things still to be done.
This is a really long entryl and I hope you are still with me up to this point. Persevering when you can't see results and just keep pushing and praying. We serve a mighty mighty God.
And He is real.