What Defines Me

I've been taught to pray for my future husband since young, since we started having sessions of buds unfolding or the no-entry-gardens in church. But often, I do not know what to pray or how to pray. I often asked if I should pray for a specific person or in general and hopes that he will just appear in front of me? And of course, they were not answered in the ways I had hoped them to be. To complicate matter, someone once told me that sometimes God doesnt just send a specific person. He has a few and would see how we choose. Gracious..those were my most confusing period. And i gave up praying eventually because I remember praying for someone and nothing happened. Now, how do God answer prayers like this?
I also used to think that my defining factors depend on who I marry, because ultimately, I want to be a wife and a mother. Which means, I cant live my life properly until that man comes. Looking back, that was not the desire of our Lord and no wonder He kept silent in answering me. What defines me should be Christ. Afterall, I'm a child of God first and foremost. I had always thought that my life and issues would be straighten out once I get married, because then I dont have to struggle with finding time to do God's work at church and spending time with my family. I would then have time for everything I should do as a Christian. How off-skewed is that.
No, if I struggle to find time to serve in church and finding time to spend with my family, I will still have the same problem even when I have family of my own. And I suspect it will be worse off. So, when people say Heaven begins on earth, it also means, living your Christian life begins now on earth, whether you are single or married. And God forbit I should compartmentalize my life to moments with God and moments without. This is me, and it comes in a package. God didnt just send His Son to die for my Mondays and let me live as how I want to on Tuesdays or in any other aspects of my life. Jesus died for me, the whole self and I'm called to give my life to Him, again my whole self. Never just moments or when I am of work. So, if I cant find time to serve in church now when I'm unmarried, I wont have time to serve Him when I'm married.
How then do I pray? I think one needs to be clear with the fact Jesus died for our sins and our very being. God's salvation plan is perfect and it covers all aspects of our lives. To understand that we are no masters of our own, we need to remember the story of Ruth and Boaz. When Boaz became Ruth kinsmen-redeember, she became his wife, not just a partimer. And I think in praying for our future-husbands, rather than praying a specific person to be "him", we should pray for that person. I've got a few things in my mind that perhaps I should concentrate on these.

1. Pray for his salvation. I was reminded recently, although God says we should not be unequally yoked, but our future husband may or may not be saved yet. If he is saved, pray for God's wisdom to be on him.
2. Pray for his desire/visions. Pray for him that he would have God in his mind. What are his thoughts and visions like? Does he seek to please God? Does he have dreams for the local church? Is mission is his mind?
3. Pray for his heart. That he would have a desire to trust and obey God. I think it's very important for my future husband to have a heart to obey God because he has to lead the family. I grew up in a family where my father is always the ultimate decision maker. Although he is not a Christian (yet) but since young, my mother makes it a point to discuss and let my father decides big decisions for our family. Whether if we should move, or if we should buy another house and even how we should renovate our house. My father is the architect and engineer in that respect.
4. Pray for his christian walk/ministry. The ministry he is in, does he bear fruits?

Personally, above all, I trust in God's timing. God is never late and while I'm in waiting, I should be living my life in full surrender and how God would be pleased with. Because it never changes, whether I'm married or not.