Be at rest

I was at Mrs Hilda Reed's funeral today. The mood was understandably sombre and sad. The coffin was pushed in by undertakers and accompanied by Mr Reed and his family. I saw Mr Reed's hand on the side handle bar of the coffin. His eyes has been puffily red for the past weeks. He was very down and seemed even weaker today. His grown up daughters and grandchildren accompanied him.

Unfornately for me, I did not have the opportunity to know Mrs Reed. She was already in the nursing home when I came to Clumberhall. But from the testimonies shared about her, it was clear that she was well loved by the poeple who crossed her path. She was a very kind and hospitable lady. Grace told me that I would have been invited to their homes if not for her sickness. It was really sad that she was stricken by illness and was in that state of unwellness for at least a year. According to Ron, both Jack and her had served the Lord faithfully in the young people's work. Many, many young people have benefitted from their service. Both Jack and her taught in the youth work and were also passionately involved in missionary work.

Halfway through the service, Jack's granddaughter, Helen read out her granny's favourite psalm. It was Psalm 121.

I lift up my eyes to the hill,
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip
He who watches over you will not slumber
Indeed, He who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep
The Lord watches over you
The Lord is your shade at your right hand
The sun will not harm you by day
nor the moon by night
The Lord will keep you from all harm
He will watch over your life
The Lord will watch over your coming and going
Both now and forever more

Indeed, our help comes from the Lord and He will not slumber but keep watch over us. We look up to Him for help but we often forget that He too look down from heaven and watches over us. Such is the relationship with the Lord. For the past few days, I've been praying for that silent assurance that the Lord still cares for me. I have my answer today. Psalm 121. My re-assurance that I'm in good hands came in a loud shout out when Helen read the psalm. Thank you Lord.

Look around you and be distressed
Look inside you and be depressed
Look at Jesus and be at rest

I am very certain that Hilda is with our Lord now and is resting in peace.

Ever, Only, All for Thee

Was revising when Media Player played this song. I stopped what I was doing instantly and for soem reasons took time and listened to the lyrics. Truly, if it's possible, take my life Lord and let it be consecrated to Thee. I really wonder what it means. Looking into the Bible, babies born in the older times, when they reached the age of 8 days old, parents would bring their child to the temple to fulfill some rituals. Take Samuel for example, he was taken to the temple not long after he was born to be consecrated to the Lord. He remained in the temple and served the Lord alongside with priests like Eli. Consecrated, a life wholly lived for Him. How is that accomplished? Take every part of my life and may it be of full use to the Lord. But how? I felt like a hypocrite as I write this because of my disbelief. But truly Lord...how? I often hear people talk bout letting the Lord take control of our lives..teach me Lord. Make me humble enough to listen Lord...

Take my life and let it be,
Consecrated, Lord to Thee
Take my hands and let them move
At the impulse of Thy love

Take my feet, and let it be
Swift and beautiful for Thee
Take my voice and let me sing
always, only, for my King

Take my lips and let them be
Filled with messages from Thee
Take my intellect and use
Every power as Thou shalt choose

Take my silver and my gold
Not a mite would I withhold
Take my moments and my days
Let them flow in ceaseless praise

Take my will and make it Thine
It shall no longer be mine
Take my heart, it is Thine own
It shall be Thy royal throne

Take my love, my Lord, I pour
At Thy feet, its treasure store
Take myself, and I will be
Ever, only, all for Thee.

Take my silver and my gold..not a mite would I withhold..A lesson for all of us. How often we keep for our use and not giving it to Him..especially in today's world. Everyone works so hard just to earn more to keep more, all for the sake of financial security. But is there really such security in money? The bible says money as the root of all evil. But we need money to survive in this world. Such contrary..Take my will and let it be Thine. Shouldnt it be the other way round? Taking the Lord's will as ours..another easier said than done.

Oh Lord..how Lord? I need that assurance Lord....

Just me and my Lord

I remember when I first started this blog, it was to serve as a reminder to myself to stay quiet before Him. And today, after starting it for a good half a year, I'm wondering if it has served its purpose. Perhaps it has. As I read the entries back, I'm seeing truly how good and gracious has the Lord been to me. From the times of internship to today, being all alone here in the comfort of my own room in Nottingham, I'm forever thankful to Him that knoweth all and giveth what is good.

All of my friends have gone to the city to welcome the new year. I didnt want to join them because I wanted some quiet time. Some could not undertstand why would I want to be alone here when everyone else is in town. I wouldnt blame them. Here am I sitting here, in front of the screen, reflecting the year. Images of happenings this year flashed through my mind. The year started off in a rather undesirable manner, having to study for exams which came after the Christmas break. And zoom...off I went into the year filled with much new adaptations in UNIM. It was all anew for me, from making new friends to settling in and studying. Time went passed me quickly and soon I have a new group of friends and things in university went on pretty well. Then came the long deisred 3 months break of summer holidays. I landed myself with an internship with Trident, earning my first income, which was soon used up for the Redang trip. I had a credit in my own account even before my first paycheck was cashed in! Haha...

It wasnt a period of rest as I had hoped for, but rather a time of tasting the working life. I had learnt so much during this period, working under Clara ( my lovely supervisor!). Then as the second month come knocking at my door, I suddenly realised how routine has everything become. I was not only bored, I became boring myself! I felt so cut off from my circle of companions. I hardly see my family because I come back late from work and I became so tired that I just knocked out on most nights! This was usually the period where I get to meet up with my friends who were also very busy at other times of the year. But I didnt get to do much of that this year. Stress became more intense when I had to prepare to come over. So much to do and pack. I only started packing on the last week before I left, which is highly not recommended unless you can take extreme stress.

Then came the day that I was to leave for England. It was a highly emotional day. Free flow of tears, anyone? I find it so difficult to hug my parents and siblings. It was so difficult to break away. Oh man, the journey to England was rather a quiet one. Was excited but that excitement was coupled with so much uncertainties and unneecessary worry (Now that I look back!). A new semester here at Notts began and soon came the lab reports and assignments which caught me offguard completely. I was having so much difficulties coping that I just wanna give up. That period of stress was so intense that pushed me to such limits that only He could provide the solace and comfort. I'm thankful that that period has finally come to past. I really am.

So, looking back, what have I gained and lost?

Weight is one! Haha..Nah, seriously, I come to realise and appreciate my family and friends better. I look forward to calling them and hearing their voices. I look forward to web sessions, where I could hear the excitement in my father's voice on how I'm getting along here and how voice transfers over the internet! He picked up pretty quickly too. Soon, he became more tech savvy than I am, buying webcams and digital cameras! Haha...I had the priceless privellege of being at the Lord's table with the folks here in Clumberhall on every Sunday morning. The privellege of being the youngest and receiving so much love from them. Oh man, how I love them! I have gained new friends from different parts of the world. Hongkies, Chinese , just to name a few. I cant believe how nice and helpful they can be despite the fact we came in in third year.

Things that I've lost? Hmnn...I cant quite think of any. My gains have definitely outweighed the lost. Thank you Lord for that. As for my relationship with my dear Lord, I think I have come to love Him more. He's more real in my life now and I look forward to knowing Him more. That shall begin tonight, here in my room, just me and my Lord.