Thursday, June 30, 2005

Being Still

It has been a roller coaster of emotions for the past few weeks. Some unpleasant things happened at home and my plans to transfer over to the UK this summer came to a sudden halt. Everyone at home was bogged down by the incident. I was stuck in between. Though I wanted so much to discussed with my parents and decide once and for all if I should transfer, I coudn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't bear to see the looks of " fan-ness" in my mother's face. All i did was keeping quiet and listening more. I was frustrated within but I was not in control of the situation. There was basically nothing that I can do except sit and wait. I didn't want to go through what I went through last year. Those frustrating, helpless months were mind-boggling and I did not want the same things to happen again.

Perhaps, this was the moments that I should pray more and learn to trust Him. I remember being angry and slashed out on Him. I questioned Him why had He planned this for me. There was so much obstacles in front that all I wanted to do was to bulldoze over. But in reality, I knew I couldn't do that. I regrettted, of course, for not trusting Him. Finally, I learnt to be humble and came to Him for forgiveness..What was I thinking?!! How could I slash it out on my Heavenly Father, the One who loved me so much and sent His Son to die for my sins?

Psalm 46:10- Be still and know that I am GOD

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