Sunday, May 21, 2006

Wrong, Wronger, Wrongest

As known, I'm now in the midst of my exams. It hasnt been easy but I'm thankful that He has brought me through the first two papers. I just had one this morning. Though it wasnt good but the peace I had in my heart was overwhelming. Truly, when He bestows peace, it is real peace that you get. The past few days saw me studying till wee hours in the morning, together with friends. Needless to say, group study is highly effective and works perfectly well for me. With this comes opportunities of interaction and bonding with friends. Studying with him was a good experience. I was a leech actively at work. He, needless to say, was 'happily' obliging. No, that's a wrong word to use. He's helpful, to put it blantly.

Exams period is also a period when the true self emerges. Things that one says during frustration is not desirable for playback. I was caught in one of those moments, being highly irritated because my brain cells chose to dry up during that moments and refused to absorb anything that I read. I complained how wrong the situation was. It was as if that everything that happened was a mistake. I doubted loudly if this course is right or if they are just mistakes. I regrettably flashed out these nonsensical statements. I was caught in more tangled spider wed when he commented this. " So, you are saying that being here is a mistake?" I stupidly nodded. " Meaning, God made a mistake by putting you here?" I was caught off guard. "Err.." It suddenly occured to me that I have made a very dumb statement. How could I said that? I wished I had explained further but again, I stupidly flashed him the annoyed look. Oh man, my testimony just gone bad.

I have had conversations regarding these with him prior to this incident. I would really wished that he'll keep what he has heard. He was very unconvinced and I even doubted if he could ever be saved. But today, a dear friend proved to me that God can still work wonders as He did years ago. It was her father. He too came to know the Lord some years ago and have kept the faith. I often thought fathers are probably the most difficult beings in the world that can come soft and listen the gospel. I was so wrong. Her dad changed so much after his conversion. What's more encouraging is that he's always making sure that his daughter remains faithful to the Lord as well. He gives her advises and corrects her whenever she's not doing right before the Lord. How encouraging. There's hope for my father too. I really cannot imagined a day that he changed and get saved. No matter how many times I told myself that GOd is able, I still cant see that coming and I'm not doing anything. If God could bring Pharoah to his knees, what cant God do? I have to keep praying.

Meanwhile, on a more disturbed note, I watched Da Vinci Code just now. It is highly not recommended, not because of the quality but the message it potrayed. I have always loved Tom Hanks but the message of the show is too much for me. It was so jumbled up! The myth and truth of Jesus is all mixed up! I cant believe what I hear. The writer speculated issues of the grail and thwarted the whole Lord's Supper. All was explained from the painting of the Da Vinci's Last Supper. Somehow, there's another remaining descendant from the line of Jesus. Oh man, I couldnt bring myself to write more. Such crap!

3 comments:

Tong How said...

hey sis... dun too stress ok....

JiAMuN said...

Irene,

I love you. Missing you here. Happy that you're keeping the faith and leaving a good example for those that is behind you. hope to see you soon! Miss you so so much!!!!!!! Come back soon!

oyling said...

Fei, coming coming back soon. Dont reckon I'll stay long. Missing all of you back home too. Home..

How, I felt stupidier than stressed out, really. Haha. It's like after each academic year, I felt dumber. So much more that I do not know of. Btw, when are you visiting me?!